Sunday, December 21, 2014

Happy New Year



Wishing a very Happy and Peaceful New Year 2015  to all


This year wrap up post has been in my mind for very long.. I had planned to write many things, but somehow all that comes to mind is a blank, I just want to be silent and say a prayer to the power somewhere out there , high above looking at all of us, please give us the strength to keep the faith, give us all peace and love and harmony, let no  child be killed so brutually that his mother loses the will to live and to ever pray.. please let this world be enveloped with good sense, good cheer and PEACE....













HAPPY NEW YEAR, please 2015 be good to us all ..........

Till then take care 

Monday, December 1, 2014

Steady Downpour

The path turned wet
The drizzle turned to a steady downpour
The angst hiccupped and then exploded
A million portions of a lonely heart crashed
The small rivulets joined in
Tender but all absorbing
Walking back on the path
Life on a rewind
Whirlwind towards the womb
The same darkness
This time no light in sight
Some flower laden branches collapsed
The red flowers turned out to be fragile
The nest seemed abandoned
Walking on, getting wet
Tears mingling with the raindrops
Melting the steely spine
Standing up on the slippery path
No sturdy, shady tree around
Only vast wet winding path……………..



Tuesday, September 30, 2014

Do not hurry up so much .....

Delicate lashes shadowed the smooth cheeks
Thick hair covered the roundness of little crown
Pink lips smiled a million dollar smile
Jingling little feet scattered peals of melodious sound
Sing song chatters filled the air
Nooks and corners and the heart's depth
Same little feet trying on mammas heels
Long hair and humorous banter
My darling daughters, do not grow up so fast
Do not hurry up so much....
Baby fragrance and hugs and kisses
Turning into teenage tantrums
Baby talks into gossip sessions
Hold on little ladies, let me hug you some more
Love you some more
Enjoy the cuddles and ‘love you mama’ some more

Do not hurry up so much …..

Monday, August 25, 2014

Once upon a time !

Once upon a time, before the advent of ‘Facebook’, there was this lady who kept on looking for her school friends , she searched Google, she did not come across any site were she could  find them . Many  leisure hours were spent in the hope of finding long lost friends, many evenings were spent looking at the old school albums and imagining ‘how would it be if I were to meet them now, we would have so much to talk, so much to share’ and she glowed in the feeling of warmth which emanated from her mere thoughts !!

She spent her days and evenings in the rigmarole of life, but whenever she got a chance to pause, all she could ever think of was about her friends and  of getting in touch with them again, so the days passed… they became weeks and weeks passed to become months and so on. 

Then few years later, on an orange tinged sun setting evening she stumbled upon the freshly doled out 'FaceBook', and her life changed, she spend her days and nights logging on to it, updating her status, looking for lost connections, lost friends, long lost neighbors she had in childhood, teachers whom she admired, teachers whom she would rather forget and to her utter delight and shock she even came across some old ‘crushes’ and 'ex flames', but the D Day came when from hopping from the ‘friend list’ of one friend to another she hit a treasure trove, yes she got hold of the profile of her bestest school friend whom she missed badly and for whom she was looking all over the internet realm all these years.

Finally they connected, they exchanged messages, they ‘liked’ each others photographs, 'oohed' and 'aahed' about everything and then they decided to speak, she happily dialed the number and there it was, the voice of her friend, and she started off , a dime a dozen, when the voice from the other side sounded lukewarm , devoid of any enthusiasm, she made sure she was talking to the right person, she called her by the name and confirmed, oh yes it was her, but why was she not talking the same way they used to , why there was no excitement in her voice? was it for this  that she was waiting all these years? she wondered.  She slowed down her pace as per the pace from the other side, she tried to probe but she could not get anything out from her friend, she got formal replies with some smattering about ‘how good old days were’, it was clear that she is not going to be the same as she was a few decades back, and then they said their goodbyes. 

She went over and over again on what had just happened and she realised that  it was her fault after all, she was hoping to start the conversation from where they had left it when they were together years ago, sitting on the same bench in class 9th  where they used to chatter and enjoy and share each and every details of their life,  it dawned upon her  that they were not 14 year olds any more and it was not right for her to expect the same level of excitement and closeness  from her BFF after so many years, she realized that though she had got stuck at that time span, her friend had definitely moved on and might  be having other  pressing priorities or issues, or may be she has just changed, that is what  might have made her speak the way she did.

After this particular Luke warm episode, she actually stopped logging on to 'Facebook' every hour like she used to do earlier,  like in  the middle of cooking, or waiting for her child at the bus stop and sometimes even in the middle of the night when every one else had fallen asleep, just to check how much 'likes' her status has got and what is the response to the latest 'selfie' she had uploaded !  what is the comment her friend has given, but then she thought to herself that 'the time of anticipation and imagination' before they met on 'FB' was  much better than this so called ‘real time’.

So like every good thing, her run with FB also came to an end, she decided to go off 'FB' for sometime and made a conscious effort to chat with the real people around, her kids, her husband, the lady whom she met at the bus stop daily and also the vegetable vendor lady.. it was much warmer and very much real,  more real than any ‘realtime response’.


Disclaimer :  This is a work of fiction , all characters in this  are imaginary, any similarity to any person living or dead is purely coincidental

Monday, August 11, 2014

Turning the Corner

Turning the corner I glanced back
Nothing was visible, I drew a blank
Slowly at the end of the road
I saw the paddy field with toad
Flickering lanterns and resounding hymns
Fall from the cycle , flailing signs
Fishing out the cheapest clothes
Like flame flocking moths
Only no flame to engulf the shame
The frantic attempts to save the name
One by one I saw pillars falling off
And then I saw the whole dorm crashing off
Staring on the face
With no hiding place
The milestones of life ,
The endless strife
Turning the  corner I again  looked back
All the sights, all of them had made a serpentine line; pitch black

Monday, August 4, 2014

Loss of words




I am at a loss of words, I do not know when or where I lost my will to write.

 All I can do nowadays is read, read and read a lot, when I am not reading I feel incomplete, when I read I am immersed in the lines and verses and the beautiful artistry and imagery of the writer, I imagine the pain, the hard work that must have gone into writing such enthralling and beautiful stories or did the writer do it effortlessly, the words just flew from her pen forming into beautiful words and sentences?? It can be either way, whatever way it is, I just love reading.


 I am longing to read more and at the same time I am dying to write, write lovely poetry with brilliant imagery, to write prose with gripping story and lively characters. Till then I shall revel in the brilliant  and heart warming stories written by such talented writers all around.

Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Oblong Shadow

Hanging by a thread

Dangling , swaying

Tipping over and drowning dead

Coming to life again ,  splaying

Huge octopus hands ,

Loneliness creeping along

Making lines on sands

Criss cross and oblong

A thin slice of moonlight shriveled,

Huddled under the oblong shadow

The night, damp, warm , disheveled


 Awaited day, on a dark  green  meadow

Monday, April 21, 2014

Blurred…..

Veins grey and ashen,

Eyes watery and red rimmed,

Heaving and struggling for breath.

Reminding of struggles and scratches,

Heaving breathless out of fear,

Ears scalded with abuse,

Years tortured with neglect,

But the immemorial chord,

The duty, the emotion

Blurs it all ………………….

Wishing for sanity,

Wishing for easy departure,

Another realm,

Another lifetime,


Wishing emotions, bonding and love.

Thursday, April 3, 2014

Nature - My childhood friend



This is not a work of fiction, but it seems so, even to me who is the one who has experienced it all.  My memory of all that is being written here seems to have happened in some other life time, but all of it happened when I was 4 or 5 years old, but still the pictures are so vivid and so real in my mind like I am watching a techni colour HD movie or as if I am still there when I am writing it all down.  I say it is not fiction because of the tremendous  nature’s bounty and beauty and companionship that I experienced at that time  seems so unreal even to me.

Let me start with the morning, yes, so the morning started with me the 5 year old running from bed straight to the verandah and sitting on the steps of the verandah (of my house which was in a small town of Kerala), the steps leading to the courtyard, it looking all clean  with fresh marks of broom which looked like half circles made over and over again on the brown earth. Sitting on the steps I looked straight at my friend who was at the same position where I had left him, across the courtyard, across the vast grove, across the paddy field, parrot green and slowly dancing along the cool breeze , there still farther across the railway line my friend stood, the tree of whose name or origin or scientific or local name I was unaware, for me it was only my friend, ‘the tree monkey’, the whole tree looked like a big monkey in sitting position and staring at my house, infact at me, talking with me , sometimes he swayed along with the strong winds, sometimes during hot , sultry and lonely afternoons when the whole house slept and the whole nature seemed to be dozing off, even the birds were not to be seen he was my only companion who from far away looked at with me with sympathy and love and understood how badly I missed my parents, how lonely I felt and how I longed to sit in that train zooming on the railway track, how it  reminded me every day of my parents, especially my mother.

I remember talking to him from my verandah, telling him if something special was going to happen that day, for example if my grandfather had promised me that he shall be bringing along my favourite muffins in the evening for me, wrapped in brown paper with patches of oil shining on it, or if my uncle would be visiting from Delhi and so my grandma would be preparing that tangy, fiery deep orange coloured fish curry for him and how he would be bringing gifts which my mother would have sent for me from Delhi and how I first smelled the gifts just to see if it carried the fragrance of my mother.

Some days, during the afternoons, when my aunt was off at school and only me and my grandmother were at home, after she would disappear indoors for her afternoon nap, I would talk some to my friend but still feel restless and lonely and then tell him that I am going to take a round of the big coconut grove and talk to my other friends, these other friends were the very very tall ‘wild jack’ tree with its fruits all strewn below it, the tasty fruit and the tastier nut was always a treat for me, I talked to this tree looking up and asking him whether from there he can see my mother sitting far away at Delhi? It never answered my question only stood majestically tall and as if it did not care for anything in this world, only emotion it showed was of pride in its canopy and the tasty fruit which it gave to all who cared to eat. At the far corner of the grove was the pine apple bushes, I was always careful around them because of the thorns but I loved sliding by the side of these bushes on to the paddy field into the watery paddys where the frogs and small fishes  seemed to be competing for space in the water collected by the rains last night, then I again climbed back with great difficulty by the side of the pineapple bushes on to the grove but not before peeping in to see how the beautiful fruit looked, it always looked  so tempting , bursting with fragrance and colour but I could never enjoy the fruit even till date as the moment I have it my tongue gets all itchy. 

Bidding adieu to the pineapple bush I would hover around the well, the antique looking well, which always scared me at night as I thought that there were ghosts lurking around it during night or a thief, who according to me was nothing but a cartoon like character wearing a bikini and the ghost according to me was some green and black circles which moved like wheels. Isn’t it amazing how little children have imagination about everything? The jasmine and hibiscus plants in all its glory talked to each other and were almost making a small gate like structure as their branches seemed to be entangled with each other.  By the time I was at the last leg of my stroll in the grove, the  coconut trees bearing bright orange tender coconuts  would be the host to the wood pecker tapping at it musically at regular intervals, just adjacent to these trees was one lonely coconut tree which once bore so many coconuts, but now stood with no top (I was told  it was hit by lightning), the barren top of this coconut tree was home to a pair of parrots who flocked in and out of their nest and painted a pretty picture of both love and barrenness.

The yellow and mint coloured butterflies played with me, they flew around my head or would sit by the well or on one of the jasmine flower fallen on the brown earth and tease me, making me run behind them or they would sit still till the time I approach them stealthily but they never allowed me to touch them, however much I pleaded with them.  It was usually my grandmothers voice calling me out to come to the courtyard to have my evening tea with my favourite snack, which she always kept in that black pot that I would go back to the house and sit again at the steps and start talking with my ‘Tree monkey friend’ but not before offering him the chai and the snack. 

The frogs and crickets and the cycle bells and the sing song of the evening prayer and the flickering light of lantern, there are so many things I have to tell you, but then it is always the same because as I have shared before also somewhere I am still caught in that timeline and like a time traveler can go back there any time, I have to just sit back and close my eyes and the whole nature’s paradise which I experienced in my native pace in Kerala decades ago just envelops me once more and I am back to my childhood, back to the lap of nature.

P.S: This is being posted under the Indiblogger, Kissan 'Nature's Friends' contest , please see the details here http://www.kissan.in/



Thursday, February 6, 2014

Fun online

My latest fun online is the online shopping sites, I have to admit, I absolutely admire some of them.  Certain sites are so inviting and so charming, for example I just love Jabong.com , every time I get a mailer from them I just can not resist myself from clicking on the pictures and entering the site, the picture clarity is amazing, I especially love the jewelry and shoes collection, once you reach their site , it is a huge task to leave without ordering something , you are so tempted to click and order, this shows the triumph of an online store, that it tempts you to such an extent that you have to succumb to the temptations !! Even the subject line of their ad mailers is eye catching and coaxing enough to make you enter the world of beauty, fashion and fun of online shopping.

A must mention is the ‘closet label.com’ boasting of celebrities such as Malaika  khan, Susanne and Bipasha Basu, all three of them have different online stores but they advertise under one umbrella , it gives the customers the comfort of so mancy choices under one roof . Malaika, true to her image of style diva has some amazing stuff to offer in terms of clothes, so is Bipasha, her online store reflects her personality and her choice in terms of fashion. For me what took the cake is Susannes’ homelabel.com’, it was a visual treat with choices of beautiful wire baskets, distressed jewellery box, or a vintage  clock, beautifully patterned bed sheets, runners , pots and pans looking gracious and inviting.

I also like the look of Pepperfry, it is another site which makes you browse and browse and find some amazing looking kitchen tools and children’s bedsheet or some ethnic looking lamp or quaint looking artefacts.

This is not a promotional article, this is just about what I felt while browsing through these online stores and I genuinely like these for all that I have expressed above, I wanted all of you my readers, my blog friends to take a look at these and may be buy some beautiful stuff … and remember this post of mine when you keep admiring these beauties adorning your home or wardrobe.


Tuesday, February 4, 2014

A gentle reminder for you and me..........

I ran into a stranger as he passed by,
"Oh excuse me please" was my reply.

He said, "Please excuse me too;
I wasn't watching for you."

We were very polite, this stranger and I.
We went on our way and we said goodbye.

But at home a different story is told,
How we treat our loved ones, young and old.

Later that day, cooking the evening meal,
My son stood beside me very still.

When I turned, I nearly knocked him down.
"Move out of the way”, I said with a frown.

He walked away, his little heart broken.
I didn't realize how harshly I'd spoken.

While I lay awake in bed,
God's still small voice came to me and said,

"While dealing with a stranger, common courtesy you use,
but the family you love, you seem to abuse.

Go and look on the kitchen floor,
You'll find some flowers there by the door.

Those are the flowers he brought for you.
He picked them himself: pink, yellow and blue.

He stood very quietly not to spoil the surprise,
you never saw the tears that filled his little eyes."

By this time, I felt very small,
And now my tears began to fall.

I quietly went and knelt by his bed;
"Wake up, little one, wake up," I said.

"Are these the flowers you picked for me?"
He smiled, "I found 'em, out by the tree.

I picked 'em because they're pretty like you.
I knew you'd like 'em, especially the blue."

I said, "Son, I'm very sorry for the way I acted today;
I shouldn't have yelled at you that way."

He said, "Oh, Mom, that's okay.
I love you anyway."

I said, "Son, I love you too,
and I do like the flowers, especially the blue”.


Author and source unknown.


Friday, January 31, 2014

Jab We Met


JAB WE MET

The joy we had on our face was unsurpassable, we kept hugging each other, both of us had smiles ‘ear to ear’ and we kept holding hands just to make sure that we have actually met. It was an exhilarating meeting, ( our very first meeting ) that I had with my bestest blogger friend Vincy, I do not know how to thank her for squeezing out time from her very very tight schedule, but again as a part of the long list of coincidences that both of us have in our lives, it so happened that her office, where she came to conduct a training was just round the corner from my office, vow!!  It was like we were destined to meet, and this training came up an excuse for our meeting. 

I loved every bit of my 15 minutes of meeting with Vincy, in spite of landing in Delhi only in  the previous evening around 6 pm and taking long 2 hours in Delhi traffic to reach her hotel, she took out time to get such delicious chocolates for my kids. 

For me it was the shortest but the happiest meeting with a blogger friend in all these years.  We have promised each other that we will somehow make it possible to meet again, and this time at leisure, because the way we talk, as if we had been talking for years to each other, we need all the time in the world to talk our hearts out .


Thanks again Vincy for your wonderful visit! You know that each word penned down here is not an exaggeration; this is exactly what I felt. 

After she had left, my front office colleagues told me that it was a treat to watch the genuine joy both of us had on our face when we were together,  I consider it as a great compliment to our Friendship.   

Till we meet again I would place this post as a sweet memoir of our very short but very joyful meeting.

Friday, January 24, 2014

Happy Wedding Anniversary to us

Happy Wedding Anniversary to us


If not you, then nobody, yes you and only you could be my life partner and no one else. The ‘smile’ made my heart jump when I was seventeen and till date nothing has changed it. Today we are completing 15 years of marital bliss.  Together we have seen so many ups and downs in life, but we have stood by each other through thick and thin, we have fought like crazy and we have loved like crazier.

We have created a home out of nothing, we have created the love we share and the lovely children we have and the trust, the bond.  No fancy cars, no bank balance, no five star lunches can ever replace this. 



P.S – No regrets only love till eternity 

Tuesday, January 14, 2014

My Bucket List


Blogathon 2014



My Bucket list

1.     To Exercise regularly, run, jog, yoga ..

2.   To  update my blog regularly

3.    To learn driving – once again- I have a driving phobia L

4.    To be a better mother

5.    To be a better person

         6.    Keep up my sincerity and honesty to my profession till the day I hang up my boots

7.    To learn to relax i..e to let go of my worries

8.    To  write a book

9.    To read a looooooottttttttt

10.To travel a lot !

11. To have a happy, relaxed retired life


And many more to go , but these are the top ones

Sunday, January 12, 2014

Happy Birthday my love!

How time flies ? It seems like yesterday that I brought you into this world, you were so little , so frail and thin, so red, crying at the top of your voice, the wintry cold weather of Delhi did not help you much, in spite of the AC you seemed to be craving for the warmth of your mother, that is me, the new new Mother , who was at a loss of words seeing this small little baby so dependent on me for everything.

Now you are a lanky young girl, with long hair , an innocent smile and amazing sense of humour. I might not show it often but I end up in splits sometimes just ruminating over our conversations. You are so undemanding for the children of your age, you are so good in studies, (this also I might not agree and keep coaxing you to do better) but let me tell you that I am proud of your performance every year in academics and I am so relieved that you have not gone on me when it comes to Mathematics !!

Also I love the way you express your love for your sister, you pamper her silly, you hug her and kiss her and also both of you fight like crazy over the silliest thing in the world, but when I intervene or yell at one I love the way both of you protect each other and stand for each other. I wish and pray to God that you would be the elder sister that every younger one wishes for and prays for and loves unconditionally. I feel so good that at least till now I know that you will never let your sister down and will always be there for her and so shall she be, just do not let the bond be broken, I know how badly it hurts when this bond is broken.

Today I have only prayers, love and lots of blessings for you, this is the last year of your childhood, officially you are on the verge of teens , I know and I can see the signs of confusion and sometimes the tumultuous way you tend to take , I know I have to gear up for all this and more as you grow up but I know that the person you are, you will never stop loving me , your Father and your little sister and that you will always respect the values instilled in you and will never let any of us down. Wishing you a very Happy birthday and many many love filled, prosperous, peaceful and content birthdays to you.


I love you so much that words fail me.. but my love and life will never fail you.. I will always be there till my last breath to make your life better…. Till then Love, love and lots of blessings to you on your special day… Happy birthday Love...

Thursday, January 9, 2014

My Mother Tongue


Blogathon 2014

My mother Tongue is Malayalam and I am super proud of it.  I am proud of the rich heritage this language possesses, the amazing and awesome literary feast that it has to offer and I am in awe of the extremely talented, legendary writers of Malayalam.  I am immensely proud that in spite of being born and brought up in Delhi, I can read , write and speak the language fluently, the credit goes to my Parents , grandparents and my school, Kerala School, which taught me the language, the teachers who encouraged and instilled a sense of pride and belongingness in us with regard to our mother Tongue. 

In school I have won many essay writing competitions in Malayalam, and I consider myself privileged to have had the opportunity to read some legendary, outstanding literary works of Late Shri Takazhi Sivasankara pillai, he was awarded the highest Literary award of India ‘janpith’ for his novel Kayar (1978) (I have also had the privilige to meet him when he visited our school in the early eighties)  and the Late revolutionary literary figure Late Shrimati Kamala Das, whose works were no less than fireworks and many more such eminent writers of Malayalam and their excellent work.  

I have immensely enjoyed reading every bit of Malayalam literature and till date is a big fan of Malayalam as a language, as a medium of expression and the naturality and ease that it has, every region of Kerala has a differet tone and tanor to it’s speech but wherever it is spoken, however it is spoken it is the most charming and melodious language to my ears.

Though I am so proud of all the above, I am also ashamed and feel guilty that my children, though they are small now do not have the same attachment to this language, my elder daughter can speak , the younger one just won’t relent and in spite of my parents speaking to them in Malayalam only (they spend maximum time with them in a day) she just refuses to speak though she understands the language. I think it is our fault, I should encourage them and speak more in Malayalam at home rather than the ‘Mandi’ (Malayalam+Hindi) and ‘Manglish’ (Malayalam+English).  My elder daughter likes to read and I have tried telling her many times that by not learning to read and write Malayalam she is losing out on an ocean of extra ordinary literary works and masterpieces of literature of this beloved Language.

 I have made up my mind to take this up as a task this year and make my children learn and love their mother tongue and respect it as I do. I am thankful to my parents and the wonderful teachers of my school who instilled this feeling of respect and love for my mother tongue in me and taught me to read and write and speak it fluently because of which I am able to savour such literary spread.


Long live Malayalam and may it see many more wonderful and outstanding writers in the years to come.

Procrastination

Blogathon 2014


Thanks Maya for initiating all of us on this Blog Marathon right at the beginning of the year, and sorry that I could not post till now as I was busy with something or the other.  So what else than ‘Procrastination’ as the topic of my post today.  There are many things in my life which I keep postponing and the list is endless I can start with Exercising , including fruits in my diet, drinking lots of water , you know I can go without water for hours together , I have to forcibly remember that I have to drink water J.

About procrastination in  blogging, It’s not about being out of ideas and topics but I still have that wee bit of feeling that I should post only certain types of posts on my blog, though when I started blogging 6 years back, I called this space as my virtual diary, I could never have the same feeling of privacy regarding this space.  I was always and am still afraid that what if I hurt someone, or am I being judgmental or what if someone is so about me and so on and so forth  Do you also have such feelings sometimes? 

Some days when I start writing I write even two to three posts at a stretch and then there is drought of posts.. that is how I had been faring all these years.  About penning down the most close to heart thoughts and feelings and emotions, it might take a while more, though I have got some wonderful friends through this blog and I am sure they will all still encourage me for what I shall write.  Also I have the option of making this a private blog, but somehow I am not very comfortable with the idea.

So in midst of all these options and thoughts sometimes I keep procrastinating my posts languishing in the draft folder and keep deferring to push that ‘publish’ button. Do you do that often or just write and publish immediately??





Wednesday, January 1, 2014

A Wish

The little blue flower that hid beneath the green

Shied away from the butterflies umpteen

The dewdrop on the brink of the leaf

Tumbled on to the button rose with relief

The snail with antique round shell

Curled on to the side of the well

Like tear drops on a shiny cheek

Droplets clung on to the willowy teak

The sound of the distant stream

Melodious like a dream

Like this scene so Beautiful and charming

I wish the year shall be – Heart warming