Like everybody else around I am also busy in making New Year resolutions. I do not want to sound as if I am writing this for an audience. I am no longer in a mood to do things for an audience or for relatives, friends etc. For the last two years I have been absorbing many shocks, some of them where given by very good neighbours turned friends, finally turned stoic and now out of my life for good, this was in 2008, then dawned 2009 baring a few more bitter truths when very rock solid relations shriveled and was blown away by the winds of rough times. I was stunned to see it falling to dust and gone for good, only remains are some formalities and courtesies. Then came a stage when I replaced these relations with some new ones but I can sense something amiss. So I thought and thought and have now come to a conclusion that after all it is not possible that they were all wrong, it seems it was me who was wrong all the time. I could pin point with all my wisdom gathered about me that what broke the back every time was my, rather our, expectation all the time. So my New Year resolutions are……………….
1. Not to expect anything from any body, be it a friend, a relative, a colleague, a subordinate, my family, my spouse, my children. Not to expect reciprocation of feelings, gestures, goodwill, love , liking, respect, gifts, good wishes, emails , letters, cash, kind, good , bad or anything which I am forgetting to mention here.
2. To give priority to my husband, my children and my parents and my in laws and to my God above all, above everyone and above everything in this world.
3. To try and keep amicable relations with everyone, may be I have to grin and bear but then yes I have to, I have to, I have to.
4. To listen more and talk less, listen patiently and talk less, listen and only listen and stop the urge to react, over react, cut and dry.
5. To talk less, yes I have started admiring those people who have the talent to keep shut even in very adverse situations, I salute their ability to control their urge to lash out and keep their tongue on leash.
6. To respect all the relations irrespective of whether they do things as per our liking, they have liking for someone else, their affinity to something which we do not have affinity to. Only respect, it is not necessary that I have to keep on loving them, crying for them, cry because they do not behave the same way they used to etc. etc.
In hope of abiding by each one of them.. hoping and hoping..