Monday, April 11, 2011

Please dont be judgmental

“Why some people have it easy without having to choose, while others suffer no matter how hard they try to make it better is beyond me”

These are the words of a financially independent but emotionally scarred and vulnerable woman who wrote on IHMs blog and there was a plethora of people advising, sympathising, empathising, admonishing. Well, the easiest job one can ever dream of is advising others, and asking innumerable, hard hitting questions. It is very well taken that all these questions are asked in allegiance, as in showing a solidarity to the victims suffering. But as this girl rightly asks above, some people has it easy and some people never make it inspite of trying hard till they crumble and wither away. Not every woman is born with the power to resist domestic violence or to revolt against the daily sufferings, for every bold decision taken by a woman it has to have to the support of three things, all together or just one of it would suffice and that is Money, education, family support. A woman who is not lucky enough sometimes is deprived of all the three.. I have personally seen very own blood relatives walking away from ghastly scenes of domestic violence without an iota of resistance, rebellion, questioning or even plain sympathy because a show of sympathy might lead to lending out a helping hand or finances or just a shelter for a few nights.

The best thing a woman who is neither educated nor well off and does not have family support does as per her own sensibilities is to suffer and sacrifice for her children, the children also suffers the trauma… life goes on ever so slowly till the time these children are on their own and find their own share of earth in this universe and then they try to break away and try to save their mother .. but then by the time she has her own children and for them she can not think of rotting her life in prison for killing the person who ruined her and her mothers life .. so people just let her be… just let her be in peace.. please do not be judgemental..she wrote it for her own comfort , to confide and breathe easy to take off the burden .. not for any of this , that’s what I presume. God has been so kind to many of us that you or me may not know the intensity or depth of such sufferings.. so please let her be….

And yes a man does not have to be mentally imbalanced to get his whole family suffer through domestic violence, it is one of the many reasons…..

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

a leaf from the past

Long ago in a faraway place
Loneliness crowded around
It stifled on the two stairs
It teased the jasmine flowers
And it cornered and huddled
Around a tall coconut tree
Bearing orange coconuts
Tender and attractive
Hot wind blew below it
And the sleepy afternoon bled green
The pineapple bushes swayed
Light tender parrot green
Spread on to the paddy field
Across the paddy field
Lay the railway line
Bringing along a goods train
Sometimes coughing sometimes running
And the odd passenger train
Brought along a bounty of colours
Brown of the train, colours of the clothes
Of the strangers who waved from afar
Happy and sad , may be at a reunion
Or a separation
Bringing along a tinge of excitement
And a flurry of hands waving
Stopping midway of planting saplings
Or mending the field
As dusk falls, lanterns glow a burnt yellow
Lamps adorn the front yard
Bells of cycles fade away
Croaking of frogs building into a crescendo
Pitch darkens envelopes the well and the surroundings
A lone tortoise slowly drags itself
With the pain of a candle lit on its shell
By some cruel naughty boys
Sound of chants and prayers of the evening prayer fills the air
Driving the loneliness across the paddy field
Along the railway line
On to some unknown destination
Only to return the next sleepy afternoon


Sometimes I yearn to shrink into nothingess
To become a void, non existent
Or to become something or somebody
Who can pretend not to be there
Just let things go by just as it is
Not to ponder, not to ruminate, not to plan
And not to feel good or bad
Not to wallow in self pity and not to shine
In a self induced halo
Where is the balancing act
Has it disappeared or is it a very difficult task
I do not know, I just wish to disappear
Into nothingess or let something cover me up
From head to toe and block my ears
Seal my eyes and ask that heart to stop
Just stop pinning up hopes, holding on to broken things
Hanging on to a thread , yet daring to look below
To frightening gorges and dark deep valleys
And looking above, finding nothing,
Only scattered blue and white
Sometimes turning into monstrous grey
Will power, what is that, is that a myth
Or just a concocted story
Made up by people who had to go through
Hell and never look at hope and still could never
Shrink, shrink back to nothingness
Could never yearn for the warmth and innocence of
Those days in the womb
What about those to whom you gave shelter
Of your womb and then should they be left to fend for the light
Do not know, sometimes it is raining hard , opaque and dark
Sometimes lightning strikes
Sun shines bright then disappears into the wood
Or the roaring ocean engulfs it, not even a glimpse visible to the eyes
What is it.. what does it take to control
And dissolve and disappear into a void
Or just shrink.. shrink into nothingness