Tuesday, June 28, 2016

One chapter from my life story ...... (Blog Marathon post no. 3)

Every body has a story to tell, each one of us is living a story, our life story.  These  stories like any other is full of sunshine and clouds, valleys and mountains and glory and gloom and through this myriad colours of life we learn the lessons of life, like the stories which our parents used to tell us with a moral to it, every life story has a moral at the end, sometimes we learn the moral of the story soon enough or sometimes only others see and learn the moral where as we the Hero or Heroine of the story just keeps on living it, oblivious to the drama that is being created by us.  Today I want to tell a part of my life story, it is not to derive any lesson or moral from it, it is in fact, just a sort of introspection, questions to my self, as  I am trying to find the answers and trying to check if it is the right lesson that I have learnt from it or I have got it all wrong. 

Many years ago I had a fight with one of my friends, a very dear and best friend, and the fight was a very silly one, we were both coming back from an outing ( we were both around 20 years old ) and on the way we got into a banter as to who will go to whose house today, she wanted to me to go to her house and I wanted her to come to my house, so the banter turned to argument the argument got heated and on the middle of the road just like that we parted ways, she went her way and I went mine… she is also a distant relative of mine, we were studying in adjacent colleges, in same course, our parents and relatives crossed each others path almost daily.  

But all said and done, we did not reach out to each other immediately, the silence from both of us grew into days, into years and it hung heavily between us, it turned into ego issue and we did not call each other on our marriages, we did not talk to each other even if we crossed path (which happened rarely because due to prior information regarding the other ‘s presence we could avoid each other easily)… so time flew by and a very good common friend of ours played a pivotal role and made us meet each other and drop the ego and embrace each other, but by the time 9 years had passed, she was a mother so was I , she was a woman with a family, a house to run, husband , children and in-laws to look after so was I.  We got back to each other as if nothing happened, we became thick friends, we are so till date.. but I realized that I lost out on precious friendship for so long.. just because I was adamant and egoistic.. the day when I met her after 9 years is perfectly etched in my memory and I distinctly remember something which I felt that day, it was humbleness and relief of letting go off a heavy ego from my chest.

But the story does not end here, I have had  series of such happenings in my life, I had an altercation with one of my closest, mother like , bestest friend  of my life and ended up not speaking to her for 5 years, it was the worst 5 years of my life, my whole clan stopped talking to me, I was isolated and alone and was guilty to the core, this changed me, made me realise that some words spewed out on the heat of the moment can do so much damage, our ego and aggressiveness , our rude  words does not get us any where, it can only break us sooner or later.  

The more we forgive the more we grow in life and attain peace of mind, the more we are surrounded with our loved ones, those who are precious to us and those who care, the  more we thrive.  

Now I make a genuine effort not to let things affect me, even now such things happen in my family and with my friends and relatives where  I see things which I do not like or are not according to my way of doing it,  but now I have learned to let go and rise above such things. It is important to know that it is not necessary that if we are friends or relatives or are close to each other we will like and agree everything about each other, we may disagree, we may be upset but not at the cost of a valuable friendship and  a relationship close to our heart, these are like the pillars of our life, we need it to live a fuller, happier and content life. It is important to compromise a bit, adjust a lot, ignore certain things, laugh off the hurts so that we are blessed with friends and relatives and family  who are there for us and for whom we are there for life. 


This is not the end of the story.. there are other chapters which I will come to in due course of time till then let me be happy with the changes I have brought in myself.. I am proud of it.. but I know I still have a long way to go……………..

6 comments:

  1. Rekha, I have felt this before the commonality in our certain beliefs, childhood memories etc., but this was the least expected one. When i read this post, its almost as if i was reading about myself.

    Yes, with age we all mellow down a lot, but wiser are the ones' who knew this at a much younger age. better late than never. tch tch :-)

    These days i try and keep my ego under control but isnt easy always.

    And yay you are the third day already... way to go Rekha!!!

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  2. Really Vincy there is some karmic connection between us, I have felt it always, told you so.. well.. even I am trying to mellow down as much as possible..
    and yes... yay... third day.. thanks for the support Vincy, it really really means a lot..
    take care

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  3. What a wonderful post! I too was like this for many many years until I realized that if we keep thinking about others and what makes them happy, we will forget what makes us happy and we will end up being upset and unhappy in life which does not make sense at all. I try to ward off negative energy and not gel with those who make me want to shout or argue at them for silly reasons. Thanks to this my life is a whole lot better than before!

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    1. thanks a lot for coming back to read my posts Prathima, it really is a huge encouragement. You are right, I think most of us go through such process in life, thanks to various incidents which provides us with the much needed learning and improvement... thanks once again
      take care

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  4. you nailed the problem down ss! it is that silly ego that rules all of us. so difficult to let go yet once we do our lives become so stress free. here is to conquer more of it. there will be missteps but we can keep trying. i try to tell this to my kids too. not sure though where to draw the balance between a sense of self and a self ruled by ego as they are still little and need a bit of both to get to adulthood unscathed..

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  5. It is very difficult to put into practise but I try everyday and sometimes it works and sometimes it don't, but I have made it a point to keep trying, let me see how long it takes to change my self ...
    take care

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