The Balancing Act

The screaming of my mother till echoes in my head !! The rain was pouring down, we were scrambling for cover from our one roomed quarter to the lofty bungalow , my little sister, the newborn baby was in my mothers arms, my arm was full of a load of baby clothes , while running for cover some clothes accidentally fell to the nearby drainage and went floating away .. the scream was for that.. I was only 8 and was hurt.. was not mature enough to understand the value of those clothes that the drain had carried away with it. The clothes were imported soft muslin clothes for the baby, of course they were hands me downs, but were so much required for the little new born. All that remained etched in my memory was the angry scream that was directed at me.. it lived inside me for quite sometime, it made me feel guilty then angry and then lonely. I always longed for my mother to hold me tight, to love me and pamper me, but she never did.. of course she had her own reasons , very strong one at t...

When dry brown leaves rustled up during the wind, I looked back just thinking, just hoping to find a friend behind me. There was no one and nothing apart from the winds rustling up the leaves and birds chirping on the trees, the muddy path astrewn with small yellow and pink flowers and wild berries red and ripe. Such scenic beauty should have made me serene and happy with myself, drinking in the beautiful surroundings and lapping up natures abundant greenery. But all that I could think of was how lonely I was, it is true that I love solitude, but it is not what I crave for always, it is only one fondness of mine, not an obsession, but it starts to eat me up, corroding me from the insides of my heart, when I long to just chat , to be just heard, not seeking any advise, not asking for any favour, not looking for sympathy, only looking for sheer , pure understanding. It is said that friends , real friends, best of friends can go with out speaking to each other for years and connect ba...