Monday, April 11, 2011

Please dont be judgmental

“Why some people have it easy without having to choose, while others suffer no matter how hard they try to make it better is beyond me”

These are the words of a financially independent but emotionally scarred and vulnerable woman who wrote on IHMs blog and there was a plethora of people advising, sympathising, empathising, admonishing. Well, the easiest job one can ever dream of is advising others, and asking innumerable, hard hitting questions. It is very well taken that all these questions are asked in allegiance, as in showing a solidarity to the victims suffering. But as this girl rightly asks above, some people has it easy and some people never make it inspite of trying hard till they crumble and wither away. Not every woman is born with the power to resist domestic violence or to revolt against the daily sufferings, for every bold decision taken by a woman it has to have to the support of three things, all together or just one of it would suffice and that is Money, education, family support. A woman who is not lucky enough sometimes is deprived of all the three.. I have personally seen very own blood relatives walking away from ghastly scenes of domestic violence without an iota of resistance, rebellion, questioning or even plain sympathy because a show of sympathy might lead to lending out a helping hand or finances or just a shelter for a few nights.

The best thing a woman who is neither educated nor well off and does not have family support does as per her own sensibilities is to suffer and sacrifice for her children, the children also suffers the trauma… life goes on ever so slowly till the time these children are on their own and find their own share of earth in this universe and then they try to break away and try to save their mother .. but then by the time she has her own children and for them she can not think of rotting her life in prison for killing the person who ruined her and her mothers life .. so people just let her be… just let her be in peace.. please do not be judgemental..she wrote it for her own comfort , to confide and breathe easy to take off the burden .. not for any of this , that’s what I presume. God has been so kind to many of us that you or me may not know the intensity or depth of such sufferings.. so please let her be….

And yes a man does not have to be mentally imbalanced to get his whole family suffer through domestic violence, it is one of the many reasons…..


  1. agree with everything and yes God has indeed been kind to some of us..

  2. Yes Ian thanks for agreeing here.

  3. Yes.. it is not ok to judge anyone..

    New to ur space and Happy to follow u..
    Do visit me a stime permits..

  4. That is such a sensible post, Rekha.

    "God has been so kind to many of us that you or me may not know the intensity or depth of such sufferings." So true!

  5. So true what you say there are lot of things to consider .. you or some readers may not like it but there could be a reason behind a domestic abuse which may not be because of the man .. or the woman...

    Good post ..


  6. Deeps and Bikram, yeah true, one feel the pinch only when one has to be in others shoes for a while, isnt it ??