The Balancing Act

In one of my previous post I mentioned that I am eagerly awaiting the delivery of a new novel written by one of my favourite authors.  The book has arrived and I am loving it, I have already reached almost the middle of the book and now let me tell you the name of the book, it is the novel ‘Before we visit the Goddess’ by Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni.  I just love the way she writes, I have loved most of her books, especially ‘The palace of illusions’, ‘The mistress of spices’, ‘sister of my heart’ etc.  Now another author whom I equally love to read is ‘Jhumpa Lahiri’ , I have read all three books she has written till date.  Now why I mention both the authors in the same breath is there is one thing common about them and that is the ‘Bengal factor’ and that is exactly what draws me to their stories.  There is a strange Bengal connection that I feel, I love reading stories of Bengal, Bengali back drop, kolkatta, Bengal villages, Bengali food, especiall...

Let me confess that as much I love reading, I love cooking too… there I said it .. I hope none of my family members read this because for sure they are going to ask me one poignant (!!) question and that is “ Really!! we are yet to see the evidence”!! well well guys before you make any wrong assumption about me, let me clear the air that of course I cook but I do not cook as if I love cooking .. ok.. I mean I cook for the necessity like the daily meals, I do not end up cooking savouries or special items etc. etc.  I hope you understand what I am trying to say.. I love looking at you tube videos of cooking, Instagram is another favourite place of mine to go through the cooking videos.  Also let me tell you once in a while I do cook something special like a chicken curry or a Malabar mutton curry or kozhukatta etc. etc. but I do more of looking at cooking than actually doing it myself. In television also my favourite channels are the cookery channels, as it is I wa...

Reverie I kneeled and prayed My fingers intertwined just like my thought process And head bowed in reverie I prayed to the lady in white The carpeted floor hurt my knee The candle that I lit on the altar Stood melting in its own heat I looked deep into the serene eyes I walked on my knee from the door Till the altar, forgetting my pain And oblivious to the loud prayers around I was engrossed in the kindness of those eyes Whether a miracle happened or not I saw the halo or not My heart got engrossed And I reveled in the glory Of the lord  almighty

Yesterday I placed the  the order on Flipkart for buying a new best seller which is written by one of my favourite authors.  I am so excited , I like this waiting time when I look forward to getting my hands on the new book and then when it finally arrives and I turn the pages and actually gets engrossed from the word go is the final culmination of my excitement.   Now a days I have started ordering online for some cosmetics also and when it arrives all packed and sealed for me to uncover, it also gives me immense sense of excitement, earlier on .. the same excitement used to be there when I would buy a new cloth or a new dress was gifted to me.. but that seems to be not the case any more. Before going on a much awaited holiday and the journey that we undertake to reach the destination also makes me quite thrilled… all in all I have found about myself that I am some one who enjoys the journey more rather than the destination itself.. literally.  I think m...

Green water along green moss, dipped into a rippling rivulet..... lashing rain , darkened trees, adorned dewy  drops on wet grass peeping mushrooms shaded a yellow flower, croaking frog jolted the drenched crow, chiming bell of a lonely cow..... brought music to falling shower.... darkened day and falling  rain, some memories..unforgotten,,,, smiles of yore...  draped in layers of muslin stirs up a sweet , lingering pain…….

It’s been a while that my elder daughter has been after me and my husband to give her the permission to chop off her waist length hair.  She started growing her hair when she was around 9 or so, now she is 14. Like every teenager and as per fashion trend she had started this demand almost  2 years back itself, may be the fact that she had become a teenager had everything to do with it, other wise she was quite happy with the hair.     Now this Sunday, we finally surrendered to her wish as she was not taking care of her hair at all and was almost indifferent to its existence as such ! so we thought that its better to give into her desire rather than try to control her.  So off I went with her to the beauty salon and the girl there chopped it off snip..snip … snip and I almost felt as if one of my body part was being chopped off, at the same time my daughter was over the moon, I could not see even a flicker of sadness on her face or an attachment to the...

‘The Time Travellers wife’ is a very interesting novel by Audrey Nifenegger. No I am not going to review it here , I am mentioning it  because ‘Time travelling’ is a term and concept which has fascinated me for long. It gives so much fodder for imagination and so much of open field for ones imagination to run riot.  After reading this novel, I had actually googled and read many real life stories (allegedly) experienced by people all over the world about Time travel.  I also came across a photo uploaded by a person who met his older self and took a photograph with him !!! Many times in life I had wanted to time travel and go back to my childhood, that is one of the most calm and serene part of my life which I cherish till date and will always do.  With each passing day I realise how valuable and absolutely innocent were those days and how much at peace I was with my self, it was such a blessed life amidst lot of love from my grandparents and Aunts and also the b...

What is the secret?? Have your read Rhond byrne’s secret?  I too have read it and it seems to have its effect on me in bits and pieces. Me and my friend has experimented with it and we have seen success with it, also realized that  sometimes, somehow it fizzles out in certain situations and then we feel that whatever happened has happened because it was destined to be and the reaffirmations and imaginations are not the cause of it.  Well... again these thoughts are the result of the conflict which goes on in our mind, conflict of agreeing to the concept of positive thinking and that it really helps and the rational mind saying that it has nothing to do with positive thinking  and these are all outcomes of our actions only. End of the day I am a believer of positive thinking but like any believer I am sometimes bogged down by doubts but I recover quite fast because somewhere deep down I know that I have no option but to recover fast and be a believer aga...

Clinging on to each word that came forth Lingering on the edge of the sentences.... Waiting for warm feelings to tumble down Clamoring for the attention flowing elsewhere Lamenting the lost moments of past Lightening up at the familiar fragrance Dreaming of blooming blue lotus Savoring cold winds and warm coats Melting amidst darkened silhouettes Falling stars and glowing moon Driving along windy roads Laughing aloud at silly jokes Clinging on to each word that come forth Lingering on the edge of sentences .....

Not long ago there was a beautiful pact going on in Face Book called the’100 sari pact’ , I call it beautiful because I love Saris and love seeing beautiful, elegant women adorned in beautiful, elegant saris. The problem is my love for sari is very similar to my love for make up, well let me explain, I buy it, I treasure it and I love seeing people wearing it and I really like gifting beautiful saris to my near and dear ones but I seldom wear it.  I have so many saris piled up in my suitcases and almirah which I have not worn in years, I think the last I wore a sari was in September last year for my cousins wedding, well.. its going to be almost a year… I wore a sari for the first time in my life for my class X11 farewell, before that like any other girl I had tried on my mother’s sari many times at home but had never worn any in public, this was a classic 'pattu sari' in maroon and bottle green combination, I was showered with compliments on that day, this sari is ...

Sometimes I get into a phase, now this phase can come in the form of reading books of a particular genre or a particular author or cooking food of a particular kind, sometimes it can be buying lipsticks of certain colour palette etc. like wise this winter I had got into this phase, where in I desperately wanted to learn ‘Crochet’!! and nothing and nobody could dissuade me from it, I had to learn it by hook or by crook (literally !!) I was like a possessed woman who would not rest until she laid her hands on a crochet needle and believe me I ran high and low to buy the needle, bought it , bought the wool and then came the problem that there was no body to teach me the knitting part.  I tried to learn from my neighbours but I did not have the time to sit with them and learn it, I tried to find out magazines which would have instructions or tips but could not find one, then I realized that the most powerful weapon  (yes Google baba) was being forgotten by me.. so I ju...

Long winding roads beckoned me, and the  beautiful pine trees  enamored me The mesmerizing melee of clouds before the rain Brought on a lingering sweet pain The memory of warmth of your hand on mine Brought on a  smile so fine Sparks of embers sprouted  wings Longing gathered in smoky rings Lonely moon peered through the apple tree And the melodious song reminded of thee The magic of mountains and pine trees Apple orchards and snowy peaks The memories tucked away like a pearl Like a dream so unreal, so ethereal….

The other day I was going through my blog posts since the time I started blogging, which is around 2008 and  when I was reading my posts, I could see a pattern, it was that most of my writings dwelled on the past or to put it more directly they were mostly derived from the past.  These posts have instances from my childhood, especially the time which I spent in Kerala , then some glimpses about my student life and some about the time when my children were born etc. , then I realized that how much of our life depends on our past learnings, many times we derive strength from our past experiences. The very situations which seemed so unbearable and stifling and full of strife in the past start appearing  different and seems to be containing life lessons when we look back at them later on. The various friendships that I have had in the past or my relationship with my relatives has also been topics of my post, indicating very clearly the importance of the pa...

Some books just stay with you forever, and what makes them stay with you is the characters, sometimes it is all about one character which just conquers your heart forever. From the time I started reading I had this thing about imagining the characters in my mind, I am sure many of us do it, in our minds there would be a picture of the character as described by the novelist or story teller and the character takes different leaps as per his story but his looks remains the same in the minds of the reader.  It is precisely for this reason that I usually avoid watching movies based on novels that I have read, because the movie, however good it is made, usually totally shatters the image or images of the character that I had sketched in my mind and sometimes it is really a jolt to our carefully built imagery.  Also I have noticed that mostly if we read the novel and then watch the movie, it really leads to a lot of dissatisfaction, only very rarely you come across a movie whic...

I am a unique make up lover, I love Make up but I rarely use it as a whole, as in I rarely use it as a true blue make up enthusiast, well let me explain, what  I regularly use and cannot live without is  Kajal , some days I skip the eye liner but kajal has to be there!!  I can’t actually recollect a time when I have gone out anywhere without applying  kajal in my eyes, sometimes even lounging around at home I will be having kajal in my eyes. This is also because as keralaites we love putting homemade kajal on our babies , it is not only the eyes, all Keralaite babies will be seen with kajal in their eyes, beautiful eyebrows drawn with kajal, a big black bindi and a nazar ka kala tika, and this is irrespective of the baby being a boy or girl, so I was also brought up like this, and I remember going to school like this till the time I was in 2 nd or 3 rd standard  ( I studied in a school in Delhi where everyone around was Keralaite, including Teachers too)...

Having a tidy work table, an organized Almirah and especially an organized handbag are some things which are always on my ‘to do list’ but however much I try it hardly gets materialized.  When I was in school and  college my Mother used to get after my life to get my almirah organized because in my absence whenever she tried to retrieve something from it, she invariably had a bundle of clothes falling on her as soon as the almirah doors where open !! Even now at my home I struggle to get my clothes  organized and make different piles, I just do not have a knack for it, however much I try and make it happen things come back to the same mess after a mere two days. Same is the story with my work table also but then one day  I happened to read somehwhere that people with unorganized and messy tables are the ones who works the most J and how happy I was!   Well jokes apart I really want to get ideas from you guys as to how should I organize my almirah an...

Long before the advent of emails, mobile phones, FB, whatsapp, instagram, snapchat etc. etc.,  there was something called 'Pen friends/ Pen friendships', I think now we can conveniently call it the ancient version of all these social media tools available. One thing I can vouch for is that it was a very clean and exciting way of making friendship with people within our Country and overseas, the highlight of it was that mostly these pen friendships were approved by parents and thrived under their full supervision, at least that is what has been witnessed by me. I came across the concept of 'pen friendship' through the children's magazine named 'children's world', I had subscribed for it and it used to arrive at my door step once a month along with the newspaper bundle and it used to be a happy day for me with lots of stories and cartoons and colouring contest to catch up with. Towards the last page of this magazine was a page dedicated to people lo...

I think I was around 13 or so when I heard about sun signs, to be more specific I heard about Linda Goodman first and sun sign later.  So it was the in thing to say ‘oh she is a Scorpio that is why she is so secretive’ blah ..blah and to be honest I had no idea what my friends were talking about, or how they could predict somebody’s sun sign just by observing their temperament.  Well, that is when I came to know about 'Linda Goodman’s Sun signs',  It opened a whole new world, I started seeing my friends as not Reena or Mohna but as 'Pisces' and 'Gemini', also,  I started fretting over the fact that in spite of being a Virgo, I was not a cleanliness freak!! finally  I came to the conclusion that it is all because I was in the cusp of Leo and Virgo!! For me and my friends at that time,‘Linda Goodman’s sun signs’ became our Bible for referring to all our queries about friends, relatives, relationships and relationships going haywire!! We used to make grou...

My memories of reading  dates back to when I was a very little girl, may be 5 years old, I clearly remember reading Malayalam children’s magazine such as ‘poombatta’ (meaning butterfly)  and ‘balarama. I used to wait for my Grandfather to bring these books, the moment he would enter the house with it in the evening I would almost snatch it away from him and run to a corner to have a peaceful reading.  I distinctly remember how I got into the reading habit.. it so happened that some evenings at our house in Kerala, when both my Aunts would be busy reading Malayalam weekly’s  I would be sitting in front of them trying to distract them from reading by following their eye movement on the paper and putting my forefinger on the exact lines they are trying to read so that I can block those lines and stop them from reading ;).    This was so because I could not read , also  when they were engrossed in reading they would not play with me  or talk to ...

Today I am posting the poem written by my elder daughter after I scolded her for something, she sent this poem to me to the drawing room where I was sitting  (through her little sister ).  The paper was  folded neatly, on top of the folded sheet it was written, 'For you Mom', and inside I found  these wonderful lines.   This was written in a few minutes by her (she reads a lot and also writes well) and I simply loved the verses ,   how genuinely she puts across her feelings, like every Mother I  was so touched by these lines and I had tears in my eyes.  So today's post is a poem by my budding writer, my teenage poetess, my daughter.... Sorry Mom, I disappoint you often  but towards me, you always soften Sorry I always let you down but your love is my only crown You are so gentle and kind even when I am out of my mind I know sorry's have been said 100 times but I want you as my Mom in all the lives I lov...

It’s been many years since I had been working in 5 day week Companies and for me an off on Saturday too means the world.   Saturdays are reserved for the washing, cleaning, shopping etc. which piles up over the entire week.   It gives immense sense of peace to the mind on Friday evenings that now I have two days in my hand to complete many tasks kept pending at home front, I get time to spend with my children, entire two days. Now that my elder daughter is in high school and she has school on Saturdays, I also get to be at home when she comes back from school and have lunch together, believe me it’s a huge thing for me and my children.    The entire week we are together only till around 6.40 am or so in the morning because by this time both of them leave for their respective schools and both of us, me and my husband also leave home around 8 am, we come back around 8 pm at night, pick up the children from my Mothers place. Once we reach home then there i...

Today is the first day of a new month, I have lots of expectations from this month.  I am trying hard to overcome negative thoughts bubbling up in my thinking pool, I am wishing and praying hard  that this month builds up as a peaceful, happy and fruitful month for one and all.   Some days are smooth and shining like a pearl, some days transforms into dark tunnels and gobbles us up and we waver and stumble and navigate our way out of it with great difficulty. I usually overcome such days with prayer and positive thinking but my worrier mind keeps on going back to the issues which is stuck at the back of my mind and keeps bothering me throughout the day.  What is your way of overcoming such days, do you pray? Listen to music or read a book and does your mind also go back to the issue time and again like mine or you are able to forget the issue , at least temporarily, tell me? May be  I can take some cues from you.