Monday, July 8, 2019

Finally...

Finally I lay down my arms, my hopes on you
Succumbing to you, you and you
To your incessant , consistent lethargy
To your incessant, persistent poisonous political strategy
To your incessant, continuous feigning ignorance

I am tired of fighting every day
Feeding positivity to my brain
Pulling and pushing myself in every which way
With hope, with tears and with disdain

Let me shiver in chilling silences
See nothing in midst of dramas, concealed
Not read anything between the sly glances
with hatred and numbness concreted

Pledging a long weary walk
Trudging along till the end of the page
Mumbling dreary self-talk
Looking at disheveled image, inside a cage

Finally I lay down my arms, my hopes on you

Thursday, April 4, 2019

In the end...

Sitting on a rocking chair,
staring away on to the faraway horizon,
wilting away from this life...
Every day, buckling a very thin belt of patience over and over my self,
still failing, fumbling and losing it eventually.

Trying out the outfit of a perfect mother,
every day, each day and by the time night falls
stumbling on it's tattered seams,
a dozen times,
falling miserably
bruising and hurting
standing up again and again..
 till the end...

Sitting on a rocking chair
looking at the empty nest
I might cry my heart out
counting each of the missed opportunity
each hug, each kiss
each word that went unnoticed, unheard

Having all the time in the world
But no children to hold
I might then melt away from this life
just like that
carrying the burden of guilt on my soul
the burden unfazed, unmoved
stubbornly smothering me
till my last breath
till the end....













Monday, April 1, 2019

do not pine for me

 My eyes will always look for you
It will well up at every thought of you
I will be around but may be you will not see me
 hugs which I never gave you when I should have
I will be carrying those around with warmth
Do remember me , but don't pine for me
because I don't deserve to be
I was never there to listen , to love
I was running behind nothing
yes those fees were paid, the dishes prepared
but what about love, hugs and those untold stories

My eyes will well up, wander and then wither away
you be strong, be the pillars of strength
be there, exchange those love , those hugs
remember me, but do not pine for me
because I don't deserve to be
Imagine that I am at that place,
where I always was
and yet did not matter to any one
just running.. morning to evening
and then  one day ran into oblivion....
Don't pine for me
because I don't deserve to be....



Tuesday, March 26, 2019

unmask.....

pour it out on the blank space
let the hurt , the pain 
unmask the happy face

gather courage lurking in the corner
let the darkest, deepest fear
take strong shapes sooner
into words that sear

reach out and open up
let deep feelings  drench 
from the wells pent  up
cascading into an avalanche

Pour it out on the blank space
let the words, the sorrow
unmask the happy face....

Monday, March 25, 2019

Crescent Moon


Many moons ago

Whether spring or snow

Eyes waxed eloquent

Lips remained silent

Breaths tangled

Fell and climbed

Throes of emotions

Hearts connotations

Hands held softly

Yet gripped so firmly

Scared of loss

Of unwritten laws.

Longed lovely moonlit nights

Gazing at lantern kites

Sneaked in poems in solitude

sleepless  nights counting stars multitude..

time slips in stories galore

twining hearts becomes folklore

like embers of coal

like heart without   soul

like a lone, barren afternoon

like a waning crescent moon ..............



Sunday, February 10, 2019

Penance

I treaded on clouds
with long flowing locks
happy feet among the crowds
eyes dreamy
 heart aching
on it blue and crimson welts rising

I saw a smile
it crushed my soul
to die in love languidly
I pined all the while
followed the soul
tied it to me with all my might

I carried it around
thinking its mine
It belonged to me,
no more than the moon to the tide
Though it danced with the moon
 the tide forever remained loyal to the Sea

Smothering it with all my selfish love
I made it just like me,
no more silent, no more subtle
soon enough..
it lashed upon me like the crashing , massive tide
crushing me and my imposing soul


it snatched off my imaginary peace
unshackling the tendrils , the flowing locks,
crushing the happy feet
took away the embalming on the welts
making it rise once again
crimson and blue and soaring and burning


not having the courage or the strength,
ridden by guilt of ruining a smile
I will lie down, tongue tied
as a penance to a soul
who was once subtle and kind,
soft and soothing as a breeze..

 I will brace this storm
for all the fault that is mine...
In memory of a dreamy smile
that crushed my soul....
of golden silences that
touched my core.....

forever in penance I shall perish....




Wednesday, December 26, 2018

Happy New Year 2019

I am back after a long long time. I see blogs dying down all around me, all those blogs which I used to frequent and wait to read are dormant for months now. This in no way means that all of them have stopped blogging, they are now vlogging, putting up videos online, on youtube, instagram and facebook.  This is the age of disruptions, so let's accept it and move on.

This is the customary New year wish post. 

2018 was much better than many years for us, I am happy that my daughter cleared her xth board with 91% marks and I am really proud and happy. This was the major milestone of 2018, I was really worried about the board exams and clearing it with flying colours was ama....zing!!

I am so grateful to God for every small and big blessings in life, I pray to God almighty to keep his blessings flowing for us.  I wish and pray the same for every one, all the friends, bloggers the readers, if any ;) and the entire country and world.

I hope to write a lot next year I am really convincing myself to write more and take one step at a time for realising my dream.

Once again wishing all of you a very very happy and prosperous New Year...

Take care and stay blessed !