The much needed closure - After 30 years!

 Once upon a time I had posted here on my blog about my best friend with whom I had such love and deep connection and then things went really bad due to a mistake on my part and we never spoke thereafter, for years together. It was not I who ended it and I was extremely sad about it and kept trying to locate her and find out her contact to apologise and gain back her friendship. I never stopped trying and then around 2010 I somehow got her email id and phone number and I wrote to her and called her. She took the call but was silent on the other side. She never replied to my email. I never gave, up I kept trying. You wont believe, yesterday on August 21st after 30 years I talked to her. This was after constant chasing, infact it felt to me as i was stalking her, i kept my ego and shame aside. This time the replies she gave to me baffled me because it was as if she did not remember what had happened , in fact she said that she was looking for me for the last 4 to 5 years.  I could not believe my ears and I asked her openly if she has mistook me for someone else, I even used my maiden name to identify my self. She said "yes, yes I know". 

 Well that hide and seek continued for over a period of half a month. She would drop one message and then disappear for days together.  I did not  give up at all. Finally she called me yesterday, she was hot and cold just like her messages, and very formal it did not feel like that friend with whom I used to lay awake entire night talking and laughing, the one who was my confidant, we were each others sounding board and  secret keepers. I on the other hand was so emotional and happy and what not but when I talked to her it was as if someone just poured a bucket full of ice cold water on my warm emotions. Well, still I am glad, this was one regret which i kept alive in my heart on a slow burner and talking to her has given me the much needed closure. I apologised to her but strangely she said she do not know why I am apologising.

I sent her my daughters pic wherein she was wearing the saree which this friend   had gifted to me before my marriage even, and this was the first time my daughter was wearing a saree, it was really precious to me and emotional . First of all my friend did not recognise the sari and had no recollection of it and when i told her about the saree and the context of my daughter wearing it as her first saree, the response was 'ok' , of course it was on a chat but still the damp response was strange.  

Suddenly I realised that may be she actually has no recollection and may be it is not as if she is putting on a memory loss act about it. I realised that people dont perceive you or feel the emotions as you do, for me it was my single most burning desire to talk to her once and to apologise. For her may be this was never an issue or may be over the years she has forgotten everything.  Whatever it is I am grateful that God heard me and gave me the chance to apologise, clear the air and show my genuine love and affection to her. life is really full of strange twists and turns but surely life is very interesting.  I am once again incredibly grateful to God, my universe for fulfilling this heartfelt wish of mine.  But being a human being now my greed is to meet her, maybe Almighty will work out that also for me. Soon. I will bring that story too here but I know this blog is like an audience-less theatre , but as some one said the 'show must go on '. So it is, so it is !!