The Balancing Act

It gets pretty tough sometimes, the balancing act I mean, surging through the daily grind, life loses its sheen by default I am the one to find the rainbow just forgetting the constant aches that perches on the brow ignoring the pains gnawing at the joints getting the nerves all knotted up, worrying up on so many points How I wish I could bring myself to hug you tight and not shout when both of you indulge in harmless fight when you come running to me in the evenings with happiness I am fighting a war with my tired body and am so full of snappiness When you excitedly show me the stars in your book my mind is already occupied  as to what shall I cook Everyday I tell myself, on weekend I am going to just cuddle, love and pamper both of you But the constant irritants pulls me back and I see the sadness in you the apprehensions, how is mamma today?? my heart cries  and my pillows are wet at night , I am drowning in a teary , guilt ridden puddle It gets pretty...

The small little feet that kicked inside me Gave me the first glimpse of motherhood The frail, little angel , cocooned on my lap Gave me the first flicker of a mother’s worry The love and affection , the scoldings and arguments The worry and protection and your endless strength Made sense to me , I started fitting in your shoes the moment my little angel was born As a mother I started to understand my mother Who lived a turbulent life Had the spine of steel Is an epitome of strength Who never wilted under the hardest of storm Who always protected us through the harshest parts of life I would like to say thank you for this wonder ful life I would like to say sorry for every tear you shed because of me I would like to say you are the best mother You are the strongest You are the reason I can be a working mom And still be at peace about my children Safe and sound and loved in your lap Thank you mother for everything And sorry for all the hurt ...

Sometimes it needs a little prompting to get the best out of you, and I am definitely one of those, I need a good prompt to do my bit of writing, especially the best one that is. The story goes like this, it was ‘Mothers day Meet’ at my younger daughter’s school, she is in UKG and her school organizes this day with a lot of activities and fanfare every year, so I went to the school all excited , as my little one was there in the dance programme dancing to the tune of ‘Naani teri morni ko mor le gaye’, so I got her Naani that is my mother also to come with me and enjoy her dance, and since I had been attending this function every year I near about knew the all the activities that would follow. So there I was sitting pretty and enjoying the sight of toddlers and teachers and enjoying the company of so many other mothers who had gathered there. Suddenly there was a twist to the story as the Prinicpal announced that they had arranged a small activity for the Mothers too, they had a...

There is no pain which can be compared to a mother's pain when she sees her child suffering.  There can be no pain worse than the pain when you are brutally violated, raped and scarred for life. There can be no suffering which can be more than the childhood whose innocence has been cruelly snatched away. There can be no helplessness which can be compared to the helplessness where you can see your child's rapist and can do nothing about it , only wait for the system to do justice, a system which is rotten and stinking and has no hope of getting cleansed... What a Country, what pathetic systems??? Selfish and dangerously ambitious people sitting on important chairs... Where is the Democracy?? What happened to the the fundamental rights ???? What are we coming to?????

Here, it was only a few months ago that I wrote a post pouring out my anguish and agony over the brutal rape of Nirbhaya.  Now here I am,  again, but this time I have no words to express what I feel, all I feel is a very painful numbness and every time I look at my five year old daughter I can not just control my  tears.  What kind of human being can inflict so much pain on a baby , on such a frail child, a five year old girl child hardly weighing 20 kgs, how could he have brought himself to insert foriegn objects into her body, I just can not bring myself to write any more about the brutalities.  Doctors says her body has been mutilated to such an extent that they have not seen such a case in their career. The rapist has been compared to an animal but I have never come across such behaviour in animals, they would be ashamed to be compared to him. I feel a heart wrenching pain just thinking about the pain that child must be suffering, her childhood has...

Today I am going to experiment with silence.  Sometimes silence is the only weapon, only cure and only option available but it is hard to use , but if used properly and at the correct juncture it is the most effective tool for keeping a calm mind and surroundings !!.  So many things go wrong because we say unnecessary things at unwanted times, we talk when we should have kept quiet.  Many a days I have started my day at office with a firm resolution to keep my mouth shut, but I have always, always miserably failed, today is such a day at office and today is an important day where my silence can teach me many lessons and leave many wondering , so I am going to experiment with 'silence' once again (with iron wil). Tomorrow I will update the lessons that I will be learning , infact I should say " tomorrow I will update the lessons that silence will be teaching me today " , till then take care...

Its been so long , I plan to come here often but when I open the page to write  words fail me.. I planned to slyly quit, planned to silently say goodbye to the blog and also to my writing.. but somehow I just could not...it would be equivalent to saying goodbye to my reading which I can not do without.  Life just goes on throwing some surprises, twists and turns but I am grateful to God for giving me the strength to sustain, to overcome, to grow stronger.  If I regret anything then it is  the lack of time I get with my children, I wish I could be with them more, to see them blossoming into individuals with choices and talents but most of the time I miss out on it and sometimes I so strongly want to  throw away my job and sit at home cuddling them, playing with them, help them studying, go out with them, prepare hot meals for them when they are back from school, be there with them when they are unwell or not feeling good.  These are all wishes whi...