The Balancing Act

crushed under the mammoth weight of expectations self esteem shattered scattered around like dry leaves whimpering noises creating unrest aging the dreams tugging the seams mammoth shall be the efforts to soar again like a phoenix ready to climb fly into the highest peaks of the horizon the rejection is yours the victory is mine my ship will trot all along the globe and shall anchor only at my will at the golden sunrise for everyone to see.. sowing the seeds once again of bright dreams that  shall come true you wait.. and see....

And just like that you turned 18!! It's your 18th birthday and I owe a post to you my darling!! I do! It might sound cliche when I say that I see a lot of myself in you, but it is the truth.  You are so much like me but yet so different .  Let me tell you that though I am your mother and like all mothers I am partial to my child's abilities and talents, but when I say you are the best, it's not a mother, its an HR Professional telling you that you have so much potential, you have so much of mettle that you shall be great at whatever profession that you choose in life!.  Also your writing tells me that you are going to be one great writer, I just love the way you shape up your thoughts on paper, your command on language, the flow , the words , the content everything just shapes up so beautifully. Like every teenager you also had teen issues, you still have but you have a big advantage  wherein you come across as this friendly, happy soul that you are goi...

when you are midway in life, at some point were you are at the exact middle of an average human life and you still have to prove yourself, on silly, stupid things it is agonizing !   When you have worked like a horse for the entire , exact half of that mid point and still has an important milestone to pass before you reach the top professionally, it is insulting ! When no one gives a damn about any of this or anything you have done for more than two decades of your life, it is heart breaking! When you spend everyday awaiting that one call which can help you to turn a corner in your professional life, it is hugely discouraging! When you cut your heart out for a friend and be present for them, be there for them come what may and suddenly they start ignoring you . it is absolutely soul wrenching! I can keep thinking about all this and loath in self pity or I can count my blessings, the small , the big and the ones which are about to come a...

Some threads old, dwindle in size gets entangled, instead of sewing, it just shreds Some paths familiar, grows weeds, gets lonely, instead of leading, it just stops Some places warm, becomes damp, gets moldy, instead of giving peace, it just haunts Some bonds strong, weakens with time, gets distant, instead of being real it just fakes

Here I am, after a long, long time.  Last year I made the resolution to write a lot more this year but I ended up writing almost nothing on my blog.  In fact I am stuck by a very big block in my writing and  I am alarmed at the lack of creativity that I have right now due to which I am unable to complete a piece of work which is so close to my heart.  Anyways, this year has been kind and I am grateful for it.  My entire existence is based on only one word and that is 'Gratitude'. I wish every one who reads this post a wonderful and happy New Year... I know its a bit early for the New Year wish but a wish is a wish isn't it? How does it matter whether New year is here in 15 days or 20 days. Have a blessed and great year ahead, and be healthy and safe all of you and your families.

Finally I lay down my arms, my hopes on you Succumbing to you, you and you To your incessant , consistent lethargy To your incessant, persistent poisonous political strategy To your incessant, continuous feigning ignorance I am tired of fighting every day Feeding positivity to my brain Pulling and pushing myself in every which way With hope, with tears and with disdain Let me shiver in chilling silences See nothing in midst of dramas, concealed Not read anything between the sly glances with hatred and numbness concreted Pledging a long weary walk Trudging along till the end of the page Mumbling dreary self-talk Looking at disheveled image, inside a cage Finally I lay down my arms, my hopes on you

Sitting on a rocking chair, staring away on to the faraway horizon, wilting away from this life... Every day, buckling a very thin belt of patience over and over my self, still failing, fumbling and losing it eventually. Trying out the outfit of a perfect mother, every day, each day and by the time night falls stumbling on it's tattered seams, a dozen times, falling miserably bruising and hurting standing up again and again..  till the end... Sitting on a rocking chair looking at the empty nest I might cry my heart out counting each of the missed opportunity each hug, each kiss each word that went unnoticed, unheard Having all the time in the world But no children to hold I might then melt away from this life just like that carrying the burden of guilt on my soul the burden unfazed, unmoved stubbornly smothering me till my last breath till the end....