The Balancing Act

I almost gave up the idea to post this customoray New Year wish, because the bologsphere is almost barren now. I am talking of the blogosphere which was there when we started off around a decade back, well I digress, this is supposed to be a New Year post. Well, Just hoping hard and praying harder for a virus free year. We almost made it without it for few months and lo and behold, there it is again. I can't bear to think of those times, so will not go there. I am just wanting to have a simple, peaceful, stress free year. A year where I can really practise leaving the worry about future way behind and just savour today,the present, however sour or sweet it is. It really seems like a super power  not to dwell on the past and worry about future,  at least to me it looks like one. Not going the New Year resolutions way also , because been there, done that! Nah! it doesn't work for me. I hope it works for you, go for whatever works for you to bring the cheer on this year ! With lot

This ocean that I see inside you once it submerged my heart too That sand under your feet  which feels warm and looks neat in a split second  that can give away Can I ask you  to not  go that way? castles that you build on the seashore they are doomed to drown for sure cool breeze of dawn and golden light masks the crawlers of midnight their painful sting can take your life away Can I ask you to not go that way? The tall coconut trees ashore gives no shade even this fuzzy feeling shall fade moonlight might still wane bringing along heartbreak insane only shadows of memories will stay Can I ask you to not go that way? long walks , music and chitchats all those letters and knickknacks which now  light up your eyes  might all then look like lies then be strong and just pray? Can I ask you to not go that way?

When I look around nothing is there   only the urge to write just to feel light also the need to breathe long, shaky breaths though i just can not I try to signal my distress but nothing comes to rescue when I look around  nothing is there only miles of deserted road flanked by nothing again only grey polluted air that claws at the lungs i try to gasp, call for help but nothing comes to rescue When I look around nothing is there only the air thickens  gags the throat  waters the eye so does my mind attack my heart i try to heal, looking for help but nothing comes to rescue When I look around nothing is there not this life,not any lives neither love nor hate only the shroud of thoughts darkens the eye dampens the face stops the heart  my soul calls for help tries to break free but nothing comes to rescue

  I mixed it up all colours orange, red , green, blue, them all thought of creating a beautiful  rainbow but all i came up with was a messy wall, unlike all I mixed it up all struggles, dreams, hardwork, them all thought of becoming this gritty girl but all i became was a defeated warrior, unlike all I mixed it up all emotions, mistakes, yearnings them all thought of writing a touching story but all i came up with was a tale of self pity, unlike all I mixed it up all motherhood, love, sacrifices them all thought of becoming a loved soul but all i had become was a miserable soul, unlike all

 The long, graceful vine tendrils slowly, sweetly tightened its grip jagged breath and blue lip clinged on to betraying fragrant tendrils pearls of foggy love clouded along slowly, hardened feelings feigned sorrow  closed the chapter for a better tomorrow then smothered the tears gathering along Long steps melted into  cold days slowly,  devoid of warmth of hugs naked toes trembled on tattered rugs  desperately seeking sun kissed  bright days

 splashes of ice cold water  jolted frayed nerves  out of the trance deep hollow eyes darkened with lack of sleep lines and crowfeet running deep  thinning hair and waning courage are these the signs of a crumbling mirage fumbling around with octopus hands clinging on to strands of smile, words, jumbled and crumpled, lightning of laughter, mayflowers from overcast memory, leaning on loaded love with promise of unknow future fate, destiny or just wrong decisions karma of several lives emotions boil up and down like  the seams of a thirsty river flowing silently in anticipation of rain to just uproot all shoots of the pain....

The scorching, tearing pain  that I went through was not in vain The moment I saw your curly eyelashes and soft face That  was the beginning of my life's new phase Your first steps and babbles I still remember our little squabbles you were a quiet but happy child happy with a sweet, happy on a slide falling from the cycle and running in the parks waiting for mamma to hug you for those superb marks when did it all disappear and you grew up to be a beauty Suddenly i was reminded of all my mom duty Look how the days just passed by you out grew my lap and the lullaby you are all ready to fly away soon may you achieve the sun and the moon The sound  of your peals of laughter our long nights and your incessant chatter I will miss you each time I pass by your room you are so precious you are no less than an heirloom Go touch the horizon and conquer the sky  In case you ever want rest and to come by You will find me right here baby , waiting by the door your mamma with heart full of happin

Marigolds showered on your Lotus feet gleams gold and orange colors  infinite pools of kindness that  shine in  your eyes calm my frayed nerves like drizzles of ice your beautiful flutes soul stirring tune is akin to soothing hues of moon fragrant  butter and cool milk platter is offered to you amidst chaos and clatter It rains hope, love and peace on my heart erases each of my pain and all the hurt envelopes me in a fog of serenity I am indebted forever to your divinity do not vanish  in between, leaving me alone grappling with life's turns unknown please hold my hand and show the way or to your abode  just take  me away ....

Like glistening pure pearls on a silk thread may happiness shower on you with slivers of shiny yellow and red You shall surely pass this phase with flying colors and heaps of praise you will travel the world and will dabble in  prose your poems are fragrant as a sun kissed rose your outfits shall be the talk of the town and your humour is your diamond  crown these difficult days shall pass soon and your life will shine like a moon beautiful, inspiring and so whole  I love you like an unseen part of my soul On your birthday I wish you  luck, happiness and love  like the wings of a pristine dove May you get wings to fly  May you conquer the sky Just pin this thought on to your heart that Mama shall be here with love in her heart blessings on her lips and pride in her eyes Till the time she is  around  and then like a guardian angel beyond How much you are loved , you may never know But its a promise that you shall be  forever cherished and loved  Happy twentieth birthday my love